:: Venting Insanity ::

:: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 ::

thoughts on life
I had a thought today. It's been how long since I've updated this thing... but I decided to put it here. I might link from other places... but that wasn't my thought.

My thought was people... people and how they interact with one another.

See... life has drama. Sometimes, it's spelled with a capital 'D' and emphasized on the AH part by spelling it so: "Drahmuh". But, still... it's there, and it's annoying. However, how we deal with that drama is what matters.

One thing I have noticed during my time on the web is that drama seems to build on itself. One person flails and whines, expecting a pat on the back and a "Poor you" from their online 'friends'. However, as soon as one of those friends offers some advice on how to fix the situation, stop signs of negativity and roadblocks appear everywhere, shooting the ideas down faster than they can take off, and the complainer often gets huffy, says how the complainee just doesn't understand anything, and that the world is out to get them.

Please... if the world was really out to get you, you probably wouldn't have survived as long as you have.

Now, I don't mean this to sound directed at any particular person that may know me in real life or online. If it happens to sound an awful lot like you, however... perhaps it's time you sat down and took a long, hard look at yourself from an outsider's point of view.

That disclaimor said and done with... here's my point:
If you feel like everyone hates you, who's fault is that really?

Think about it. If every most of the situations in which you have to interact with someone result in varying lengths of time in undue stress, arguments, and momentary/possibly permanent hatred, maybe the problem isn't the rest of the world. There's an old joke out there that says, "I'm not crazy. Everyone else is." It's a cute saying, but it sort of makes a point. People who really are crazy don't know they're crazy. However, they probably think non-crazy people are. If you think you're fine, but everyone that comes into contact with you either hates you right off or ends up hating you sometime down the road, what does that say about you? After all, humans can be their own worst critics, but they can also be terribly blind when it comes to the personality mirror.

If nine out of ten people come out and tell you that you're acting a certain way, then you probably are.

I'm a misfit. I admit it. I never really quite fit in during high school. I was in a group of people that the 'A-List' didn't like... we got looked down on by snobs... whether our clothes weren't 'in' or we didn't pick on other people or we didn't fit into their definition of 'cool'. Whatever. It was high school... everyone was extremely shallow. However, I did find my niche, and I'd say I have some pretty good friends now. Yet, even in this band of oddballs and geeks that I've somehow found myself belonging to, we have those that are even more outside of that. And, we still have cliques of 'the popular people' and 'the lowlife scum' of the geek world. It just never goes away.

Apparently, I've been lucky. I've ended up on the mostly good side of this group. Then again, I'd like to think I'm fairly laid back and don't freak out over the small stuff. At least, I try not to. I've gotten a bit more in touch with myself over the past several years while going to school and growing up after high school. I had pushed a lot away and down inside myself that I shouldn't have. Yes, I had a rather nasty temper if I didn't, but that nasty temper did some bad things to me when I held it in after being told the old wive's tale, "If you ignore them, they'll stop making fun of you because they'll get bored." A load of crock if I've ever heard one. Please.

So, in my effort to find myself again and dispell the constant dark cloud that hangs over me lately, I started on a journey of self exploration several years ago. It involved starting this blog. I'm hoping that, by looking back on it, I can figure myself a little and maybe see things from the outside. Of course, that would probably work better if I wrote in it more, but we won't go there, shall we?

But, it's this moment of self-reflection and thought that I think everyone needs at some point in their lives. Reality needs to get through. Whether by a sharp slap in the face or by a little nudge that says, "Hey... look at me," it needs to be acknowledged. I've been watching some people who are coming to this conclusion in their own ways... kicking and screaming... quietly giving in... or just completely falling apart and denying it all together.

The truth is reality bites, but it's going to get through to us whether we want it to or not. So the question comes back to me...

If most everyone you come into contact with ends up hating you, then there must be something on your end that needs to be rethought...

Wouldn't you agree?